The question usually happens right after you get engaged or married. Are you going to have kids/when, etc.? And some of the popular responses are “we’re going to try getting a dog/cat/fish first” and the other even more “cute” couples will say, “we’re going to get a plant first and see how that goes.” Oh, brother. HUGE eye roll. I’m not even going to compare having a plant to a baby. And for those couples that really think that getting a plant/dog/cat/fish, etc, will help “test” “improve” “strengthen” their relationship and be a sign of how great a parent your partner will be, well, let me know after you have kids. Oh, and I killed several plants. Why? Because watering them is boring and because it's a PLANT.
Anyway, so because I’ve heard several times throughout my life and very recently that having a puppy/kitty (mostly a puppy) is HARDER than having a baby, I am going to list out several differences (this is based on people I know that have puppies, most recently, my parents that now have 2...). I am not going to classify this into advantages versus disadvantages, you can decide that for yourself. Also, this is for 1st time pet owners and 1st time parents, not the veteran parents that can change a diaper with one hand and the mom that can whip out her bf cover and feed the baby in 20 minutes. Lastly, this is not meant as an attack to anyone by any means.
1. You don’t get puppies until about 6 or more weeks after they’re born. During this time they develop their eyesight, eat from mom and lots of other things. I’m debating on whether or not it’d be nice to have the baby go somewhere for 6 months and you could just visit him/her. Chill, just kidding.
3. With a puppy, you have to keep your house cleaned and picked up right away. It’s true, babies don’t bite/chew/scratch or ruin your favorite things right away, so puppy owners have to do a lot of organizing right away and puppy proofing. However, as soon as that baby starts crawling sometime after 6 months, watch out, time to baby proof the house.
5. With a baby, you have to wait 6 weeks or more to get busy in the bedroom and as many men can attest to, you don’t have to deal with your wife/partner feeling unsexy/fat/undesirable and in immense pain at first.
6. With a baby, you also get to wait 6 weeks or more to get back into the gym. The whole process of creating a baby took almost a year and well, your figure doesn’t come back overnight (or even after 6 weeks) and neither does your athletic ability. And with a puppy, he/she can’t WAIT to play and run around with you the instant you take him/her home, so some people lose weight (my mom did). The baby takes over 4 weeks just to start to focus and even more time to learn to roll over, play and even smile in response to your smile. Although lifting Tristan up and carrying his car seat around helps with the arm and back muscles.
7. Last time I checked you can’t pay someone and put your baby in a kennel and take a family vacation. Obviously, you can get a baby-sitter and a dog-sitter, but not the point here. The freedom of being able to put your dog in a good kennel and not burden someone else is priceless. Even though grandmas and grandpas love to baby-sit, babies require a lot more attention and care than animals.
9. Diapers versus picking up dog poop. I’d have to go with changing diapers on this one, at least it’s in a contained area (like litter boxes) and you don’t have to carry a bag around if you go on a walk. But no worries, babies pee and poop all over the place too, just like cats/dogs do.
10. You can leave a puppy at home alone for a couple of hours and go to work, go to the gym, go to the store. You can’t leave a baby/kid at home alone till 8, 9, 10 years and on. I don’t know the appropriate age for kids, but I know it’s several years.
12. Giving a baby a bath is a lot more “scary” and nerve racking at first. The puppy may just jump out of the tub or run away, but you can’t turn your back for one second and putting a baby in the tub and taking him out when he’s super little can be a challenge.
13. When you bring home a puppy, the puppy actually understands your tone of voice, so if you raise your voice and say “no”, “stop”, “stop barking” etc, the puppy will knock it off or put his/her tail down after a bit. Babies don’t recognize tone until at least after 6 months (this is per my linguistics classes in grad school and articles), pretty sure if I tell Tristan “no” or say “stop crying” in a loud voice, he’ll just cry harder or be confused.
14. Which brings me to say that animals are very intuitive (like kids, not like babies). Animals can tell if you are angry/sad/upset, etc, and they will act in response to your emotions. Again, babies can’t do that for a long time.
16. Traveling with a puppy versus a baby is very different. You can just open the car door and in goes the dog (you have to bring a leash, some food, maybe water, poop bags and a toy or two). You do have to control the dog once you’re in the car, but they get that down pretty quickly if you train them well. Going somewhere with baby means getting the car seat in, getting the stroller, getting the pack ‘n’ play, the bouncer or the infant seat if you’re going out for a while, grabbing a couple of toys, making sure you have planned the trip around baby’s nap time or fussy time and making a bottle or two. And bringing that diaper bag packed with all the necessities, an extra outfit, blanket, burp cloth, pacifier, wipes, aspirators, medicine, health information, diapers and any other necessary items.
17. Training. You can go to puppy training classes right away and get your dog trained. I don’t think a baby training class would work, it takes time with babies, lots of times, months and years for them to learn things and for the brain to develop and make/recognize connections.
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